Older Sibling

 Older sibling that never was;

Stillborn, I was told only twice.

Often I don’t of think of you.

But now, I have these questions:

Would you have been a boy?

Would you have been a girl?

Would you have been my guide?

Could you have saved me from myself?

Alas, I have only my life as evidence.

I took up your position, your mantle.

What did I do with it? Not much.

Perhaps having the same blood,

you would have been the same:

feckless, indecisive, weak, morose.

So the real question is this:

will we meet in heaven or in hell?